


Information Incomplete

by Princess_Cocoa



Category: The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Introspection, One Shot, The one where Murderbot exists and everyone around it says "anyone gonna care for that?", but only because Murderbot wouldn't accept it at this point, outside pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28845642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princess_Cocoa/pseuds/Princess_Cocoa
Summary: Biology: The study of life and living organisms. Ratthi is a biologist; it is his job to learn about these things - to study and to understand. The more he interacts with SecUnit, the more he realizes he has a lot of work to do in that regard.Or: Re-writing the aftermath of the investigation of DeltFall's habitat from Ratthi's POV.
Relationships: Dr. Ratthi & Murderbot (Murderbot Diaries)
Comments: 42
Kudos: 124





	Information Incomplete

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Murderbot fic. Also, it's one of the first fics I've written in awhile! I hope I do it justice! Like seemingly everyone else in this fandom, I found the series by chance then proceeded to consume all the audiobooks within a single week. This series is amazing and I'm so happy I happened to see some fanart for it one day that made me curious enough to read it :). 
> 
> With the series being written entirely in Murderbot's POV (save for _Home_ ) I am very curious to see how the others perceive the events that unfold. So in the long-held tradition of fanfic, I have written what I want to read. I may turn it into a series of one-shots from alternate POVs, but we will see. I'm only on my first re-read of the series, after all ;). 
> 
> This is from Ratthi's POV which is why he refers to Dr. Mensah as Ayda. I'm not sure if we see Ratthi refer to her by name in canon, but in my experience, people with PhDs don't make their friends call them by their title ^_^. Anyway - I hope you all enjoy!

SecUnit probably doesn’t know how expressive it is. For that reason, Ratthi has been working very hard to try not to react when he sees it emote. After all, SecUnit is extremely shy. He has seen its face shutter on more than one occasion when it realizes it is saying or showing something other than the basic, emotionless calm expected of it. If it knew just how much of its heart (do SecUnits have hearts? Probably) it wore on its sleeve, it probably would have permanently locked itself in its cubicle a long time ago.

Despite this, Ratthi is failing at concealing his reaction now as he watches SecUnit through Ayda’s field camera. SecUnit’s own camera is lying some distance away, half covered by a pile of armor. Armor the other unit had torn off of SecUnit after knocking it out. Once removed, the camera had just enough of a vantage point to show the rogue unit pick up SecUnit and move it to a table. Rahtti and the others had watched the unit produce some kind of knife, but couldn’t see anything beyond that. 

It had been terrifying. Ratthi thought they were witnessing a murder. His heart is still beating wildly, adrenaline pumping as he takes in the scene. Through Ayda’s camera, he can see the experience was just as scary for SecUnit itself. 

As the unit in front of Ayda keels over, dead, Ratthi sees SecUnit’s wide eyes. Panic obvious as it kneels over another unit in only half its armor. The expression is there for only a moment. Gone from one blink to a next, but clear as day to Ratthi. Next, is shock - apparently at seeing Ayda there instead of a murderous SecUnit. Then, surprisingly, awe. 

Ratthi can relate: Dr. Mensah is nothing if not awe-inspiring. Especially now, considering how willing she was to immediately rush into battle to help SecUnit. He imagines she must look pretty cool.

In a flat, mechanical voice, SecUnit mentions something about violating security priority. Ratthi isn’t paying much attention to that. For one thing, it sounds like a line straight out of a Corporation Rim legal agreement which means it’s probably not something SecUnit itself is saying. For another, SecUnit is injured. Again. 

Ratthi knows that SecUnit is part bot, part organic. He knows it isn’t human and won’t die from these wounds but it’s still...difficult to look at. 

Ratthi stares at the blood smeared across SecUnit’s neck and shoulders. There’s so much. Pin-Lee says something into the comm next to him but he doesn’t quite catch it as his eyes drift down and catch sight of SecUnit’s hand. That is, what used to be its hand. 

He wonders if SecUnits feel pain. A bot is able to identify when it has been injured, but it is usually a string of code; a warning to the bot’s consciousness that something has gone wrong and needs to be repaired. In a way, it mimics a nervous system in communication, but without the associated feeling. Of course SecUnits need to know when they have been injured, considering the situations they are normally thrown into. But does having organics - skin, nerves, brain tissue - mean that the synapses work? Or are they simply alerted to injuries in the same manner as a ship is alerted to a breach in its hull?

Ratthi watches SecUnit limp along next to Ayda. He hopes it doesn’t feel the pain of the projectiles embedded in its body. 

Ayda exudes professionalism, even virtually. She is gripping SecUnit’s arm firmly and is dragging it along. She moves confidently - sweeping around corners with SecUnit’s weapon half-raised as if this is something she does all the time. As if she normally has to deal with potential hostiles. As if she’s actually dealt with hostile forces before. (She hasn’t. None of them have; Preservation isn’t like that. Ratthi is really glad she is the commander on this trip.) 

On the camera, SecUnit is asking for its weapon. Its voice is different somehow. Almost distracted. If SecUnit were human, Ratthi would attribute it to shock, but SecUnits probably don’t feel shock. Or, at least, aren’t allowed to exhibit it. That doesn’t seem like it would be good for business.

He frowns. They haven’t personally known SecUnit for very long, but it seems unusual for it to be content being led, especially in the midst of a dangerous situation. It has struck Ratthi as the type that doesn’t trust its clients to know anything about maintaining their own welfare. Prideful in the same way as Pin-Lee or Gurathin; each of them self-assured in their areas of expertise. All that is to say: Ratthi expects SecUnit to assert control in this scenario. Yet, Ayda is able to brush off its protests with little feedback.

He doesn’t have much time to think on this, though, because soon the hopper is landing and Ayda, Overse, and SecUnit are there. Ratthi rushes to the hatch, opening it and bodily pulling SecUnit into the vehicle where it immediately collapses onto the floor. It looks even worse in person. 

Ratthi itches to crouch down next to it, to pat it down and confirm it’s ok. Instead, he takes a seat a little distance away. He has positioned himself in between the hatch and the cockpit. Just far enough away from SecUnit that it won’t feel like it’s being crowded (hopefully) but close enough that Ratthi can watch it. 

Concern is rapidly melting into real worry as he observes SecUnit. It hasn’t moved from its position on the floor, but it looks dazed. It’s blinking rapidly, eyes far away as it processes something. Ratthi feels his chest constrict. Maybe he was wrong - maybe SecUnits do feel shock. Maybe he should be doing something to calm it down.

Standing above SecUnit, Ayda is listening to Overse who is rapidly outlining what they need to do to treat SecUnit as they make their way back to the base. She is rummaging through the locker as she speaks, trying to gather the gear. While she does that, Ratthi watches as SecUnit reaches for its bleeding neck, eyes widening in shock at what it finds there. He has to look away. It’s too much...too _human_. 

If he was the one who had gone through this, he’d probably have collapsed the moment Ayda burst through the door. It’s not that Ratthi is weak; he thinks anyone who was knocked out, injured, and forced to fight their way out of impromptu surgery would probably have the same reaction. That’s the reason constructs are the way they are. They are meant to have the critical thinking skills of a human without any of the vulnerabilities. Thinking about SecUnit’s face when it thought it was about to be killed by another rogue unit, Ratthi thinks maybe the vulnerabilities are still there, just made to be secondary to whatever the mission requires. It can’t be good for them psychologically. 

He leans across the seat, looking out the window towards DeltFall’s camp. Before this survey, Ratthi had heard of SecUnits, but he didn’t know much about them besides what he’d seen on the entertainment feed. In fact, he had needed to read up on them for no other reason than to understand why Ayda was so adamant in trying to deny having one. At the time, Ratthi thought it was a bit much. SecUnits were supposed to be glorified appliances, even less conscious than bots despite the organic tissue. Yes, they would record PreservationAux’s every move and probably sell proprietary information to the highest bidder but, well, they are working in the Corporation Rim, after all. That was to be expected from any of the equipment the team was using. SecUnits were walking, talking cameras with a convenient connection to HubSystem - barely more self-aware than the hopper they are currently riding in. That is what he’d read. That is what every security company in the Corporation Rim claimed. 

And yet…

He shuts his eyes against the wave of fury that engulfs him. He’s not used to being angry, and not to this scale. But it makes him sick thinking about the fact that these people exist as little more than slaves to the Corporation Rim. Only to be used for gaining profit; not allowed to be themselves. It’s monstrous. 

The worst part is: it’s something Ratthi would have never thought to question had SecUnit not removed its helmet and spoken to Volescu.

Then, SecUnit says, “Mensah, you need to shut me down now,” in a voice that is so strained Ratthi half expects it to quiver. 

He slides to the edge of the row, watching SecUnit. It is staring up at Ayda as she explains how they’re going to treat it. Clearly, it’s not absorbing the words. Its face is blank, but in that careful way which Ratthi thinks means it’s actually feeling too much. 

It shakes itself, squeezing its eyes shut hard before explaining the problem. After a pause it says, “You have to kill me,” and the words are so shocking Ratthi almost thinks he didn’t hear it right. 

Then, through SecUnit’s speech every piece of the puzzle comes together: the rogue units, the knife used on the camera, the dazed look in SecUnit’s eyes. It’s not in shock - it’s fighting for control over its mind and losing. 

Horror rushes through Ratthi. “No.” He shakes his head. “No we can’t-,”

Ayda cuts him off. “We won’t.”

She starts directing Overse and Pin-Lee, leaving Ratthi to watch as SecUnit fights to comprehend the conversation happening around it. It’s afraid. Ratthi can see it clearly in its raised brows, its lips pulled tight. It's the kind of fear born from being in a situation in which things are falling apart faster than you can keep up - the kind of fear Ratthi himself felt as he saw Bharadwaj lifted into the mouth of a deadly creature while he and the rest of the crew were miles away. SecUnit is doing an admirable job of holding itself together, but Ratthi sees the cracks. 

After a few brief moments of rapid blinking and swaying, it sits up, staring into the middle distance, jaw locked. Ratthi hates that he can’t even comfort it, but he knows it wouldn’t appreciate the gesture. 

He leans out of the way as Overse climbs past him, and turns back just in time to see SecUnit push up and lunge for the hand weapon lying in the seat next to it. Ratthi screams, “No!” but can’t do anything before SecUnit turns the weapon towards itself and pulls the trigger. 

It feels as if the sound of the shot rings through the air for hours. Punctuated only by Ayda’s gasp, loud and distraught. SecUnit twitches as the projectile tears through it. It slumps, the weapon falling to the ground with a clatter. 

It takes only a moment for Ayda to react, Ratthi following suit. He throws himself onto the ground beside her, helping to maneuver it into a flat position. Annoyingly, everything is blurry. He blinks rapidly, trying to force his eyes to work, dammit. It takes him an embarrassingly long moment to figure out that they are filled with tears. He swipes furiously at them. This isn’t it - this isn’t how it ends for SecUnit. It’s too tragic. 

His hands are shaking, but he leans over SecUnit with Ayda. He lifts it up enough for her to get a good look at the module in the back of its neck. She shakes her head. “It’s broken. We need to wait for access to MedSystem to extract it,” she mutters. Next, he lays it down and rips at the suit skin, pulling it away from the wound. Ratthi is a biologist - not a doctor, not a programmer, not a bot-mechanic. There’s not much he can do here. But at the very least, he can follow directions. 

Pin-Lee slams onto the ground next to them, and she pushes him out of the way. Ratthi moves to SecUnit’s head and settles it in his lap. He grabs the emergency kit from where Overse dropped it and begins separating out the tools, ready to hand them to Pin-Lee as she works. Then, he takes over helping Pin-Lee as Ayda rushes to relieve Overse. With Overse being a field medic and Pin-Lee able to work on the mechanical components, they may be able to make sure SecUnit doesn’t die on the flight back. Maybe. Hopefully. 

Beside him, Pin-Lee blows out an angry sigh. When he looks to her, he sees his own helplessness reflected back at him. “We didn’t tell it to do that,” she says. “Why…”

“To protect us, obviously,” Ratthi replies, helping twist its arm so Pin-Lee can reach the direct feed ports at its wrist. The words come out clipped, his fear making him sound annoyed. He's not annoyed, he's distraught. SecUnit is a person able to make its own decisions as long as those decisions don’t directly contradict an order. It's just that none of them thought to order it against doing something like this. Then again, that's not what Pin-Lee is asking. She knows the events that led to it shooting itself. He can see that in the way her jaw locks in anger as she plugs in the diagnostic tool. She’s obviously holding herself back from arguing while she waits for the analysis to complete. 

No, what Pin-Lee was asking is this: why would it go to such lengths to protect them? It barely knows them. It’s not like the governor module told it to do so. If the governor module was capable of making such a call, then DeltFall’s crew would still be alive. This was a decision SecUnit made on its own. Did it really think they wouldn’t be able to help it? Was it really that afraid of hurting its clients?

Beside them, Overse drops down and immediately begins to work. 

The tool pings and Ratthi watches Pin-Lee’s expression darken further. “What’s it say?” he asks, voice low. He probably doesn’t want to know the answer. 

“Six percent performance reliability and dropping,” she mutters, despondent. He was right - he didn't want to know. “Overse?”

Overse doesn’t even look up, still bent over SecUnit’s chest. “In the other wounds, the veins closed themselves off to stop the bleeding. That’s not happening here. Plus the wound sealant won’t take on any portion close to the mechanics. Its organics are going to shut down if I can’t stem this.”

Ratthi offers his hands, applying pressure while she works around him. His brows furrow in concentration. “Why would automatic wound response fail below a certain performance percentage? That seems like the type of thing you’d want to make sure keeps working all the way down to 1%.”

Distractedly, Pin-Lee responds, “It’s not about it being a certain percentage. It’s not like vein-closing can only be used at 10% or higher or something like that. I think it has to do with resources. All of its limited resources are being used to stop it from descending into a catastrophic failure. It can’t focus on anything else right now.” Her eyes narrow, then widen in surprise. “Which is actually good in this case.”

She swings the diagnostic over to Ratthi. 

“What am I looking at?”

“The download has halted. This gives me a chance to quarantine the module and sever the connection. Then I can pick out any lingering kill code.”

Ratthi blows out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. SecUnit’s body still needs a lot of work, but knowing its mind won’t be compromised is a huge relief. He can’t imagine what it would be like having to fight off SecUnit if it went rogue. Ayda had been able to take down the other unit, but only because it was distracted with trying to kill SecUnit. If they had to fight off SecUnit when its full attention is on destroying them? Well...Ratthi watched it throw itself into the mouth of a monster with two foot-long teeth and win. He’s pretty sure he knows how that would end. 

~*~ 

The flight back to the base is long. It’s an overnight trip that feels like a multi-week one with how on-edge he is. The minutes are dragging along. Overse and Pin-Lee finished working part way through, both unable to continue without the proper equipment. In the end, they got SecUnit’s performance reliability to stabilize at three percent. 

Now, Pin-Lee is sitting next to Ratthi, fuming as she stares out of the window. During their work, the diagnostic tool had recommended halting repair in favor of “recycling and disposing of” SecUnit and she hasn’t calmed down since. To be honest, neither has Ratthi. Not to mention the fact that he can’t turn off his mind, can’t stop thinking about SecUnit. 

Mostly, he’s wondering what a typical mission is like for it. Obviously, there’s probably less cross-continental travel, less mysterious habitat-wide murder, but is there less violence? SecUnit charged into the room with the other units, totally ignoring the fact that it was shot in the process... _multiple times_. Then, when it was being taken over by the module, it told them to kill it. Based on how it fights, Ratthi can’t help but to think that SecUnit’s fear at that point had less to do with dying, and more to do with the fact that it was being made captive. 

Ratthi has read the theory behind the existence of SecUnits, but he has no accounts of what their actual jobs look like. All he knows is that people expect them to kill, expect them to follow orders, and expect them to be dangerous. Ratthi had been nervous when he met SecUnit, but he’s never felt scared around it. And that was before he knew it had a face and a consciousness. Not to mention the fact that it certainly doesn’t seem like it wants to kill them. Even when it had a weapon in its hand and a kill-command in its head, it still refused to fire at them. Is that because they’re clients? Is its governor module so powerful it alters SecUnit’s perception of the people around it? That doesn’t seem likely. 

Ratthi heaves a sigh and moves into the cockpit, taking a seat next to Ayda. 

“You should take a break,” he says. “I can take over the rest of the way.”

Beside him, Ayda is staring resolutely through the windscreen. She doesn’t look at him, doesn’t even acknowledge the words he spoke. Instead, she asks, “How is it?”

He sighs, sinking further into his seat. She already knows the answer. They had told her as soon as the work was done. “Not good. Stable, at least.” He doesn’t have to look at her to know she’s upset about that. 

“It was stupid to leave that weapon there. I should have been prepared for something like that.”

This shocks him. It’s not like Ayda to second-guess herself. Besides, the weapon was set on the seat by Overse, not by her. There’s no way she could have predicted SecUnit’s actions. “You couldn’t have known it would do that,” he says, incredulous.

Her nostrils flare and her grip tightens on the flight controls. She doesn’t need to be concentrating as hard as she is when the autopilot is engaged, but Ratthi doesn’t mention it. She says, “It believes its life is worth less than any one of ours.”

He can’t argue with that. It’s obvious from the way it fights. It throws itself into combat and keeps going (presumably) until it can’t anymore. There’s no other way to explain why it would be so well-versed in ignoring bullets in its body and a missing hand. “I think that’s what it’s programmed to believe.”

Ayda shakes her head. “This isn’t programming. This is conditioning.”

Ratthi thins his lips, staring out at the ring on the horizon. That’s true as well. If you’re programmed to follow orders - no matter what those orders are - you probably start to internalize the belief that you’re less important. But, again, he just doesn’t know. The data on SecUnits he has is woefully inadequate, that much is obvious to him now. He’s a biologist, it is his job to study the behavior of life around him. He should know more about the life of one of the members of his own crew. After a few quiet moments he says, “You’ve worked with SecUnits before, haven’t you? Didn’t they all act like this?”

She glances at him then. “Only once before, on one of my first surveys. It was within the Corporation Rim, like this one, but that was the only similarity. Besides that, I never interacted with the SecUnit then, not really. Not like…” She sighs, her grip on the steering column relaxing a bit. She says, “I spoke with it after what happened with Bharadwaj and Volescu. Its torso was torn apart and it looked half dead. Yet it kept telling me it was only doing its job in saving those two. It didn’t acknowledge…” 

She stops, leaning back in her seat. She looks tired. Ratthi has never really seen her look tired before. Not like this. 

“I’m afraid it won’t survive.” Her voice is quiet. It’s almost like she’s talking to herself. 

Ratthi leans forward, trying to catch her eyes. Hers are closed now, so he directs his attention to the instruments in her stead. He says, “Overse has its organics stable and Pin-Lee-,”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Silence. Then: “Oh.” She’s right, of course. Even after they get SecUnit healed up this time, they still have to deal with the fact that there were rogue units at DeltFall, and extra units. And, assuming they make it off this planet despite all of the random system failures and killer constructs, SecUnit will be sent back to the company. It will be sent on another mission where it will throw itself at an enemy and hope it doesn’t die.

That’s no way to live. And certainly isn’t a way to live for very long. He spares a brief moment to wonder how long SecUnit has been doing this for, before he’s interrupted. 

“The feed is back up! We are in range of the habitat,” Pin-Lee announces from the cabin. 

Ratthi relaxes in his seat, relieved. Beside him, Ayda sits up, attention focused entirely on the flight once more. Ratthi settles back, switching his own focus to the feed and the sound of the concerned voices from his friends back at the habitat. It’s time to get them up to speed.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know what you thought! Also please come yell at me about your Murderbot Diaries HCs on [tumblr](https://lazarus-mission.tumblr.com/). I'd love to find more Murderbot fans to follow ^_^.


End file.
